26    Can’t Stay. Can’t Go. Refused asylum seekers who cannot be returned Joshua (Ethiopia) is also homeless. He is desperately seeking a solution for his situation – he used the word ‘solution’ 38 times in his interview. I’m tired of being homeless. I claim asylum; they refuse me. If they don’t want me in their country, they should take me home, find me a solution. They don’t want to help me or take me home. I can’t stay; they can’t take me home…. I’m still in the same situation with no solutions. Solution just be homeless. This is my graveyard. This is not even prison for me; they treat me worse than a prisoner. I’m no criminal. I don’t come here to commit criminal. I’m not a resident of this country, but I’m here – residentially permanently homeless. Yes, that’s where they left me. That’s my status, and they don’t have no reason or solution. Homeless is the only solution they left me with. How long I’m going to be homeless? I don’t know, if they already left me 12 years now. I don’t think they’ll find me an answer, straightforward answer: we take you home, or we do this for you. No. Just the homelessness. No solution…. Answers, there is no answers. Solutions, there is no solutions. (Joshua, Ethiopia) Kasim (Iraq) feels that the time he has spent waiting in the UK – unable to study or work – is worse than being sent back to Iraq and possible death. He feels that, at least, would be mercifully swift compared to the eight long years spent in limbo that have ground him down: Every day I’m dying…. Every day. Every day you are scared, you’re thinking about yourself... you don’t have support, tomorrow what will happen. It’s very difficult. (Kasim, Iraq) Kasim feels that, after eight years of waiting, he is getting too old to move on with his life: When first time I’m coming I’m young…. But if now, now you give me paper, how I go be student. My head, my brain, too much get tired. (Kasim, Iraq) Kasim still has hope and, every year at Christmas, wonders if he will receive some good news: Still I wait here…. Yeah, always, every year, when Christmas coming, I say, “Oh, this one, maybe it’s coming; definitely this news coming. Maybe I get paper, Christmas coming”. (Kasim, Iraq) 3.11 Control over life Most of our refused asylum seekers reported feeling they have no control over their lives. Their comments included: I don’t feel like I am in control. The future is not in my hands. I don’t plan, because you don’t know what tomorrow holds for you. (Violet, Zimbabwe) Control, I don’t have control over my life, no. My control is long time gone. (Joshua, Ethiopia) I have no control. [Interviewer: How does that make you feel?] Useless. Helpless. Very frustrated. (Kayla, Zimbabwe) 3.12 What keeps you strong? We asked our refused asylum seekers what keeps them strong and helps them to cope. For six of them, the answer was hope: I hope it will get better. I want to live a normal life like everyone else. (Qareen, Palestine) My hope. Of doing well, of surviving well. (Faheem, Palestine) Three participants reported that their faith keeps them strong: I don’t know. God. God maybe keeps me going, because Home Office have no conclusion or decision to resolve this problem. (Joshua, Ethiopia) Fiyori (Eritrea) and Enaya (Palestine) both said that they stay strong for their children: I have to be strong for my daughter. My daughter keeps me going. (Enaya, Palestine) Violet (Zimbabwe) and Kasim (Iraq), both active volunteers, reported that keeping busy helps them to cope: The main way I cope is by keeping busy…. I try and do as much volunteering as possible. I volunteer at the Red Cross three days a week and two days a week at the Salvation Army…. I want to help people like me – asylum