Can’t Stay. Can’t Go. Refused asylum seekers who cannot be returned   21 A group of five or six Englishman were there. They don’t like my look or something…. They called me black dog. Just like that. One of them tap me on the shoulder and, as I turn, one of them hits me with the stick of baseball. I fell straight down; I can’t defend myself. They beat me up so well that I didn’t recognise myself when the police bring the picture. (Faheem, Palestine) Faheem was in a coma for a few days and when he recovered consciousness, he couldn’t walk: I can’t control my body. My brain is not speaking to my body. It took ages, a few years, to heal. Couldn’t go out. I survived, but I was really, really destroyed – mentally and physically. My brain was damaged. When I was in court in Dover, when I saw the CCTV, oh man, oh man. I don’t want to think of these things. (Faheem, Palestine) Faheem still battles with dizziness and cannot stand for long: “I lose balance sometimes.” Violet (Zimbabwe) was being held in a detention centre in 2008 when she was diagnosed with hypertension. Kasim (Iraq) has had epilepsy since he was young. Living on the street makes it difficult for him to take his medication regularly. “Sometime this is very difficult. Sometime I forget”. Kasim’s epilepsy has worsened since he has been in the UK and he has had to increase the dosage of his medication. Life on the street is hard and he worries about his family back home, particularly his mother. Walid (Algeria) has had two heart attacks since he has been in the UK. He will be on medication for life. He is currently homeless, even though his GP has written a letter to the Home Office saying that someone with his condition should not be living on the street. Joshua (Ethiopia) reports generally feeling unwell: You see me, I’m not healthy. I’m not healthy. I’m not healthy. I don’t feel strong, or powerful, no. I’m getting old. My health is not well…. Lack of food; can’t get food. Hard. It’s cold, and nowhere to go. (Joshua, Ethiopia) Bisrat (Eritrea) lost his Section 4 accommodation in August 2016. For the first week after that he slept on the street and soon became ill: About a week, I sleep on the street, when the first time I left the house [Section 4 accommodation]. Yes, it’s cold; it’s very cold now. I was sick; it was very bad. (Bisrat, Eritrea) Bisrat worries about surviving the cold this winter: “The coming winter is very bad for me.” 3.7.2 Mental health Refused asylum seekers We asked participants about their mental health in general. Worryingly, seven of the 15 refused asylum seekers said they had considered suicide. Qareen (Palestine) told us: I am sad. Life is not good. I am not living life…. I have no control. I wanted to commit suicide. My friend stopped me. I don’t know what is going to happen to me. I have very low moods. (Qareen, Palestine) Anwar (Somalia) feels it might be better if he dies. After a lot of effort, the Leicester Red Cross has managed to secure an appointment with a consultant psychiatrist. Sometime I feel it’s better for me to pass away…. Sometimes I think that God he forget me, but God, he don’t forget me – still I’m alive. But still I’m not happy to live. Sometimes I hope that God does make me to pass away. I’m not happy to live…. Soon I will lose my mind, really. I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy, but the way I’m going, I think I will lose my mind. (Anwar, Somalia) Aman (Iraq) has terrible nightmares and has considered suicide: I have very bad sleeping. When I’m sleeping I get like flashback, nightmare. I see things bad happen to my family…. Sometimes it came to me to suicide myself. Yes, since I have not got news about my family, and I can’t – I have no place to live here, that’s affected me a lot. (Aman, Iraq) Faheem (Palestine) admits he was suicidal when he first moved to Birmingham after being badly beaten in Dover: Sometimes I wanted to jump from the bridge in front of the train. I was damaged. I was miserable, painful. I didn’t want my life to carry on like this; I just want it to end. (Faheem, Palestine) At the time, Faheem was in shared Section 4 accommodation. He would wake screaming in the