I worry about my younger sister. I love her very much and I would not change her for anything else except that this world is so cruel to girls. My sister is very funny. She has a very funny understanding of the world. She believes that countries are different colours. Because in the world map in her classroom, all the countries are different colours. I tried to explain to her that this was not really how the world was divided. But she imagines that from out of space, if you look at the world, you really see all these different countries in different colours. She loves to tell people that our father came from a green country and our mother is from a purple country, where we live. Where we were born. She tells everyone that this is her country. My sister is still young. ----------------------------------------------------------My mom and I fought the other day. I switched the documents file with my certificates file. The documents file has 63 documents – and it’s a really good file. But my certificate file now has over 81 certificates. And I am scared I might lose some. ‘Idiot child, what are you doing?’ ‘I need a bigger file mama… I got three more certificates from school this term…’ ‘The documents file!’ ‘It’s a bigger file, I need a bigger file for my certificates…’ ‘Your certificates don’t matter.’ ‘You’re saying that because you are stupid.’ ‘You are stupid. All those certificates don’t mean a thing …’ Then she hit me, and she cried. Later she said she was sorry. She said she had been wrong. My certificates meant I was easily the best in my class, in my school, in the whole district, even in the country … she said I could one day become the best in the whole world… And as she spoke I saw her heart leave her body ... And I realised this happens when she cannot bear to hope. That night… when she was busy… when she was… when my dad and she were arguing … I found out what I already knew. It was easy. I knew the documents file and certificates file better than anyone. But I went through them both carefully. Just to be sure. And I was right. And my mother was right. I had certificates that told me I could write and make things and play the flute and run fast and remember better, count better, reason better, the best in my class, school... But I didn’t have a certificate that told me I was born. I didn’t have a certificate to say this was my country. Without those, none of the rest mattered. ----------------------------------------------------------Sometimes I get tired of the lies. I sometimes want to tell my teacher that what she is teaching us about this country, the world, is not true. Without these certificates you can be treated like you are not really a human being. I have seen this happening to people in the queues. I have seen it happening to my mother. She has not let it happen to me yet. We are taught by adults to say the truth and to be kind and responsible. But the truth is that I am a human being and kindness is to tell my mother that I will be always treated like I am a human being and responsibility is to give me a certificate saying that I am a human being so that my mother and I can stop standing in queues and filling out forms and repeating our story and being shouted at by strangers and being beaten by my dad... and just stop worrying and just start living because really, really, really, all these problems will stop. They will stop for us, forever. We don’t need help with any of our other problems. Any other problem I can figure out how to solve. I am not afraid. I just need someone to confirm that I am born. What in the world makes this so difficult to admit? 45